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Scatterbrained

from Morlock by The New Adventures

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lyrics

I tried my best not to cry at work, I didn’t take time off which was a bit absurd. I kept telling myself I’d fall more into debt if I didn’t keep busy to steady my shaky hands. During idle hours I would think of you, all the details from the funeral kept creeping back while I couldn’t process my grief it was all too much to handle with an already failing head.

Its been hard for me to try and fall asleep especially when I keep having FUCKED UP DREAMS like when somebody’s chasing me and wants me dead, or a girl I’ve loved having sex with another man. At times its felt like my mind’s out to get me, with tired eyes and a tongue that kept twisting. I wasn’t safe alone with my thoughts, deep seated hate was moving to the fore front.

Guess I’ll keep posting on the internet. (JUST KEEP IGNORING. JUST KEEP IGNORING) Wondering if I’ll ever be okay. (CAN SOMEONE KILL ME? WILL SOMEONE KILL ME?) Blame myself for every little thing. (YOU NEVER SAW HIM. YOU NEVER SAW HIM.) How much can I take before I need help?

Your death was a catalyst for everything like my failing mental health and anxiety. I wonder if right now you’d be proud of me, but I didn’t even know how much I needed you to live.

credits

from Morlock, released February 23, 2019

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The New Adventures Lafayette, Indiana

a one man punk rock band. my debut full-length 'morlock' is now available!

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